Stephanie's Survey
by plumfanatic
Summary: Stephanie is having trouble sleeping and decides to do an on line survey. This is from a long ago challenge and there was a request for more character surveys which will foloow this one. ALL IN FUN. Not my characters and not making any money from them.
1. Chapter 1

_**Stephanie**_

**I looked at the clock on my nightstand. Shit, 2:36, I am not going to get any sleep. Why can't I turn my mind off?**

**I went to the kitchen and stuck my head in the fridge…oops, forgot to go shopping and no leftovers from mom. **

**Damn. **

**Ghostbusters…that always works. No, I left it at Joe's. **

**I'll check my email. Holy cow…I don't need HGH or hoodia, a few less donuts would fix that problem…don't need viagra and absolutely, not in this life time, do I need a penis enlargement, either one of them!!! How do these people get my email address? **

**Hmm, a survey, that oughta be fun and put me to sleep.**

**Name Stephanie Michelle Plum **

**Birthday October 12, 1976 (next year it will be October 12, 1977) **

**Birthplace St. Francis Medical Center, Trenton, NJ **

**Marital status Divorced **

**Single? If So. Why? Sort of single…because I am a wuss and can't make a decision and the ladies in the Batcave keep trying to get me to make one.**

**Eye color Sapphire Blue **

**Hair color Brown **

**Height 5'7" **

**Tattoos: Do bruises and gun shot wounds count? **

**Piercings: Ears; and do gun shot wounds count? **

**Current location: Trenton, NJ **

**Righty or lefty: Righty **

**Currently in love? Doubly **

**Current mood: Bored, depressed, confused, lonely **

**Current clothing: A knit tank top and cotton boxers **

**Current hair: Bride of Frankenstein **

**What do you smell like? Bulgari shower gel **

**Current thing you ought to be doing: Making love to CSG **

**Favorites: **

**Ice cream Ben & Jerry's **

**Food Pizza and meatball subs **

**Steak or Lobster? Pineapple upside down cake**

**Color Black **

**Flower Red roses **

**Clothes T-shirt and jeans **

**Animal hamster**

**Person Ricardo Carlos "Ranger" Manoso **

**Saying "It's not my fault!" **

**Type of music Heavy Metal **

**Song singer/band Metallica **

**Sport to watch? Hockey**

**Pro Team NY Rangers**

**Love life: **

**First crush Joe Morelli **

**Ever been in love Not until recently (I live in the land of Denial) **

**Still love him/her Ok, well, yeah, both of them **

**Do you believe in love at first sight? No **

**Do you believe in the one? I believe in the hope of 'the one', as opposed to two. **

**What did you like most about your current/last bf/gf? I guess you can call him my BF, I can't say it. I liked the great sex, the familiarity, the comfort zone, his dog, he doesn't eat salad and has one of the best asses in Trenton. **

**What did you like least about your current/last bf/gf? His dominance, lack of faith in my abilities (of course I have none), demands, no romance, chauvinism**

**In a boy/girl: **

**Eye color Brown **

**Hair color Dark **

**Hair style Long **

**Height 6' **

**Body shape Ripped **

**Facial hair Doesn't matter, variety isn't a bad thing. **

**Tattoos or piercing? Do bruises and gun shot wounds count? They're becoming a turn-on. **

**Style Badass, sexy, athletic, direct, mysterious. **

**How often should they call? Once an hour to see if I have blown up my car or need to get out of a dumpster. **

**Random**

**Have you ever been drunk Yes. **

**Done drugs No. **

**Had sex What kind of question is that? **

**Been called a tease Probably behind my back, especially lately. **

**Lied to someone Absolutely, I'm a bounty hunter, you want me to tell the skips the truth? **

**Been in a fistfight Sort of, actually more slapping around, throwing garbage bags, pasta, and knocking little guys down the stairs. **

**Stolen anything You mean like Joe's jeep? Well sure. **

**Held or shot a gun More than I want to. **

**If you had one day to live, who would you spend it with? Ricardo Carlos "Ranger" Manoso **

**Where do you see yourself in ten years? Still making love to Ricardo Carlos "Ranger" Manoso **

**What's the hardest thing for you to do? Admit my feelings. Pass by a bakery.**

**Do you care what others think? Unfortunately, way too much. **

**What are you afraid of? Being myself and not being accepted...refer to previous question. **

**Do you have any regrets? Not enough time to list them. **

**Do you have any secrets? Oh, yeah, and you're not going to find out what they are either. **

**Do you like to give hugs? Naturally, unless it is a psycho stalker or when I'm covered in garbage or whatever, which is actually quite often. **

**Do you sleep naked? I'd love to, but you never know who will break into my apartment and my bedroom. **

**Do you believe in miracles? I ask for them all the time. **

**What inspires you? My bank account, paying the rent, eating, TastyKakes, sex... **

**When is your bedtime? Anytime I can get away with it. **

**Do you like thunderstorms? Not when I am alone, oh except if I am not alone with fore-mentioned psycho stalker Looney. **

**Do you think you're attractive? Not all the time. **

**Gold or silver Silver. **

**Do you wear hats? Navy SEALS cap. **

**Does it annoy you when someone doesn't return your call? Especially when his wife gets murdered in front of my workplace and he didn't even tell me he was married. **

**Are you too shy to make the first move? Shy, no...chicken-shit is a better word for it.**

**If you could be one person, who would it be? Wonder Woman**

**Who do people say you remind them of? Barney Fife, Gracie Hart (you know, Miss Congeniality, Sandra Bullock)**

**What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Apocalypto, all those naked butts thru the whole movie…HOT DAMN!!!! **

**What did you have for breakfast? Coffee and Donuts of course.**

**Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Lately? Hmmm…the ladies from the Batcave…I think they are mad at me.**

**Beach, city or country? Beach.**

**Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Salted with butter, is there any other way? I'm not Batman you know.**

**What kind of car do you drive? A Mini cooper today…tomorrow, probably Big Blue…a huge old Buick…**

**FAVORITE SANDWICH? Peanut Butter and Olives**

**Where would you go on vacation? What's a vacation, and do you really get options?**

**What color is your bathroom? Trust me, you really, really don't want to know.**

**What side of the bed do you sleep on? The whole thing, I'm a mover and a shaker…ok, I am really just restless even in my sleep.**

**When was the last time you said "I LOVE YOU" and meant it? Please don't make me answer that.**

**What did you do last night? You won't believe it, but it's the truth…I got all slutted up, went to a bar, came on to a creep and asked him to go make out in the alley. Thank God the Merry Men were there waiting for us and I didn't get shot, punched, kicked or even thrown in the dumpster.**

**Are you on any medication? None of your business, but no, I'm not, probably should be though. Did you ask that because of the last answer?**

**Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Mary Lou.**

**Who would you call for work advice? Ranger**

**Have you ever been hunting? Everyday, oh, wait, did you mean like for deer or something? Never.**

**Name something you wish you were good at: My job, making decisions, staying out of dumpsters…**

**Name something about you that attracts other people: I am caring and mostly because I give everyone a good laugh.**

**What is your talent? Attracting lunatics and being around when things blow up. **

**Name a bad habit that is hard to break: Attracting lunatics and being around when things blow up. Eating too many TastyKakes and Boston Crème Donuts.**

**NICKNAME(S)? Bombshell Bounty Hunter, Babe, Cupcake, probably some I don't know or want to remember.**

**What do people usually come to you for? Relationship advice…just kidding!!!**

**What advice do people usually give you? Everyone is giving me advice about everything ALL OF THE FREAKIN TIME!!!! Just leave me alone, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.**

**Name something you constantly do that your family and friends wished you didn't do: My job. It's my job, they need to get over it.**

**What does it feel like to be in love? Depends on which guy you are talking about.**

**What's the worst part about being in love? One too many men.**

**How old do you want to be when you get married? 75**

**Do you want to have children? Not in any foreseeable future. I can borrow them and send them home, why get my own?**

**Favorite restaurant? Rossini's and Pino's**

**Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Well, duh…Macy's and Victoria's Secrets**

**What do you do when you are bored? Go shopping for shoes.**

**Name the best thing that makes you smile: The tingling I get when HE comes near and when he finally reaches my back, lifts the hair up off my neck and places butterfly kisses there.**

**WHEN IT COMES TO SEX...I CONSIDER MYSELF: Driven by my hormones, which are freakin out of control most of the time.**

**IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE?**

_**With Ranger between his sheets.**_

**Whoa, Ranger just came on line. Why isn't he between those sheets? Probably I should find out if he's alright…I could just IM real quick…**

**Yo, Ranger, everything ok?**

**Yo, Babe, what are you doing here at 3:330 AM?**

**Couldn't sleep.**

**Problems?**

**Just restless I suppose.**

**Need help with that?**

**Maybe.**

**Your place or mine?**

**Your sheets…I mean your place. Be there in 10.**

**I didn't even sign off, grabbed my keys, and was out the door before I could change my mind. If I'm not going to sleep then I'm at least going to have more fun than a stupid internet survey.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ranger**_

**Name Ricardo Carlos "Ranger" Manoso **

**Birthday August 12, 1976 (next year it will be August 12, 1977) **

**Birthplace Newark, NJ **

**Marital status Divorced **

**Single? If So. Why? Yes. My lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships, but honestly, fear of commitment.**

**Eye color Brown **

**Hair color Black **

**Height 6' **

**Tattoos: Do bruises and gun shot wounds count? **

**Piercings: Ears; and do gun shot wounds count? **

**Current location: Trenton, NJ **

**Righty or lefty: Righty **

**Currently in love? If I told you, I'd have to kill you. **

**Current mood: Bored, lonely, horny, lonely, depressed, lonely, confused, lonely **

**Current clothing: none **

**Current hair: long **

**What do you smell like? Bulgari shower gel **

**Current thing you ought to be doing: Making love to my Babe **

**Favorites: **

**Ice cream anything I can lick off my Babe **

**Food salad or anything I can lick off my Babe **

**Steak or Lobster? lobster**

**Color Black **

**Flower Red roses **

**Clothes T-shirt and jeans when I am off the job**

**Animal hamster**

**Person My Babe **

**Saying "We're going to do this and it's going to be good!" **

**Sport to watch? Kick Boxing**

**Pro Team ???**

**Love life: **

**First crush what's a crush? **

**Ever been in love No. Ok, fine, you're gonna give me a bad time about this aren't you. Yes. **

**Still love him/her Damn it, yes. **

**Do you believe in love at first sight? Not until I met my Babe. **

**Do you believe in the one? I do now. **

**What did you like most about your current/last bf/gf? Never had one.**

**What did you like least about your current/last bf/gf? never had one.**

**In a boy/girl: **

**Eye color Sapphire blue**

**Hair color Brown **

**Hair style Long, curly and unruly**

**Height 5'7"**

**Body shape hers**

**Facial hair Really a turn-off**

**Tattoos or piercing? Do bruises and gun shot wounds count? They're becoming a turn-on. **

**Style Badass, sexy, direct, amusing, bold, unstoppable. **

**How often should they call? Once an hour to let me know if she has blown up any cars or needs to get out of a dumpster. **

**Random**

**Have you ever been drunk Yes. **

**Done drugs Yes. **

**Had sex What kind of question is that? **

**Been called a tease Probably behind my back, especially lately. I think she wants me.**

**Lied to someone Absolutely, I'm a bounty hunter, you want me to tell the skips the truth? Ok, I lied to her too.**

**Been in a fistfight Are you serious? **

**Stolen anything Only when necessary.**

**Held or shot a gun All day long. **

**If you had one day to live, who would you spend it with? My Babe. **

**Where do you see yourself in ten years? Still making love to my Babe. **

**What's the hardest thing for you to do? Admit my feelings. Walk away from my Babe.**

**Do you care what others think? No. **

**What are you afraid of? Walking away from my Babe.. **

**Do you have any regrets? Not enough time to list them. **

**Do you have any secrets? Oh, yeah, and you're not going to find out what they are either. **

**Do you like to give hugs? Only to my Babe. **

**Do you sleep naked? Wouldn't you like to know? **

**Do you believe in miracles? Definitely, ever since she walked into my life. **

**What inspires you? The thought that someday she and I can be we. **

**When is your bedtime? Anytime I can get away with it. **

**Do you like thunderstorms? I would if I was snuggled up with my Babe.**

**Do you think you're attractive? It is a relative concept and I couldn't care less. **

**Gold or silver Silver. **

**Do you wear hats? Navy SEALS cap. **

**Does it annoy you when someone doesn't return your call? Especially when she has a psycho after her.**

**Are you too shy to make the first move? No, just afraid once I start I will never be able to let her go.**

**If you could be one person, who would it be? Stephanie's lover for life.**

**Who do people say you remind them of? Batman???????**

**What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Black Hawk Down**

**What did you have for breakfast? Fruit.**

**Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Grandma Mazur.**

**Beach, city or country? Beach.**

**Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Plain.**

**What kind of car do you drive? What time of the day?**

**FAVORITE SANDWICH? lettuce and tomato**

**Where would you go on vacation? To a private island with no phones or people except my Babe.**

**What color is your bathroom? I don't know.**

**What side of the bed do you sleep on? The side Stephanie slept on when she stayed in my apartment.**

**When was the last time you said "I LOVE YOU" and meant it? The only times I have said "I love you" were to my Babe and that was recently and I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.**

**What did you do last night? You won't believe it, but it's the truth…My Babe got all slutted up, went to a bar, came on to a creep and asked him to go make out in the alley. Thank God my men and I were there waiting for them and she didn't get shot, punched, kicked or even thrown in the dumpster.**

**Are you on any medication? None of your business, but no, I'm not, probably should be though. Did you ask that because of the last answer?**

**Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Tank.**

**Who would you call for work advice? Tank**

**Have you ever been hunting? Yes, it is the only way to survive on a third world mission.**

**Name something you wish you were good at: Relationships.**

**Name something about you that attracts other people: I don't care about attracting other people, only her.**

**What is your talent? Security, making money **

**Name a bad habit that is hard to break: Sending her back to him.**

**NICKNAME(S)? Batman, The Wizard, Superman, Cuban Sex God…they think I don't know this J **

**What do people usually come to you for? Relationship advice…just kidding!!! Security **

**What advice do people usually give you? No one would dare give me advice.**

**Name something you constantly do that your family and friends wished you didn't do: My job. It's my job, they need to get over it.**

**What does it feel like to be in love? Hurts. Hurts Bad.**

**What's the worst part about being in love? Morelli is better for her.**

**How old do you want to be when you get married? 75**

**Do you want to have children? Not in any foreseeable future. I already have a daughter.**

**Favorite restaurant? Shorty's**

**Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Mercenaries R Us**

**What do you do when you are bored? Break into Steph's apartment.**

**Name the best thing that makes you smile: My Babe. **

**WHEN IT COMES TO SEX...I CONSIDER MYSELF: Driven out of my mind with the need for her.**

**IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE?**

_**Anywhere With Stephanie.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Joe**_

**Name Joseph Anthony Morelli **

**Birthday March 1, 1974 (next year it will be March 1, 1975) **

**Birthplace St. Francis Medical Center, Trenton, NJ **

**Marital status Never Married**

**Single? If So. Why? Sort of single…because my girlfriend drives me crazy.**

**Eye color Dark Brown **

**Hair color Black **

**Height 6" **

**Tattoos: An eagle on my chest cause I'm an All-American Alpha Male **

**Piercings: No**

**Current location: Trenton, NJ **

**Righty or lefty: Righty **

**Currently in love? Define love.**

**Current mood: Pissy, my girlfriend wouldn't come over and play with the boys tonight **

**Current clothing: Boxers **

**Current hair: Long, with a nice wave and bounce to my curl, I'm undercover as a drag queen **

**What do you smell like? Bob, my dog, he has been drooling all over me. **

**Current thing you ought to be doing: Walking Bob **

**Favorites: **

**Ice cream Ben & Jerry's **

**Food Pizza and meatball subs **

**Steak or Lobster? Steak**

**Color Anything but black**

**Flower yellow roses **

**Clothes T-shirt and jeans **

**Animal Bob the Dog**

**Person My Cupcake**

**Saying "Bob misses you!" **

**Type of music Hard rock**

**Song singer/band The Boss **

**Sport to watch? Hockey**

**Pro Team NY Rangers**

**Love life: **

**First crush Terry Grizolli **

**Ever been in love Do I count myself? That makes 3**

**Still love him/her Which one? Terry when Steph won't put out. Myself, all the time. **

**Do you believe in love at first sight? First sight of what? **

**Do you believe in the one? Oh yeah, Mark Messier, hell he can boast 6 Stanley Cups! **

**What did you like most about your current/last bf/gf? current…she's easy to please, feed her and she puts out. **

**What did you like least about your current/last bf/gf? Her inability to obey my orders, her job, her family, her friends, her association with Ranger Manoso.**

**In a boy/girl: **

**Eye color Green **

**Hair color Blond **

**Hair style short **

**Height short**

**Body shape huge boobs, tiny waist, round hips**

**Facial hair Doesn't matter, Italians have hair everywhere. **

**Tattoos or piercing? Didn't I already answer this? An eagle on my chest cause I'm an All-American Alpha Male **

**Style Submissive, eager, homebody, willing to bear my children. **

**How often should they call? Never**

**Random**

**Have you ever been drunk Nope, not me, I drink beer. **

**Done drugs No. **

**Had sex What kind? **

**Been called a tease No, I finish EVERY time, usually in record time. **

**Lied to someone No, I'm a cop, everything we say is the truth even if it is a lie. **

**Been in a fistfight Where do you think the scar above my eye came from? Gives me character, don't ya think? It even moves around my face.**

**Stolen anything Does virginity count? If so, then many times. **

**Held or shot a gun Hellooo-ooo, cop! **

**If you had one day to live, who would you spend it with? Terry, Cheryl, Jessica, Emma, Bunny and the Dahm Triplets **

**Where do you see yourself in ten years? right here **

**What's the hardest thing for you to do? See my girlfriend with Manoso.**

**Do you care what others think? NO. **

**What are you afraid of? Stephanie's job **

**Do you have any regrets? How much time do you have? **

**Do you have any secrets? Oh, yeah, and she lives at... **

**Do you like to give hugs? If it gets me laid. **

**Do you sleep naked? Well ye-ah. **

**Do you believe in miracles? Yep, Steph makes me a believer every day she survives. **

**What inspires you? My family, being a better man than the other Morellis, breaking the Morelli curse. **

**When is your bedtime? Varies, I'm a cop. **

**Do you like thunderstorms? Whatever, as long as I'm not out in it I don't care.**

**Do you think you're attractive? Naturally**

**Gold or silver Gold. **

**Do you wear hats? And cover up this hair? Not on your life.**

**Does it annoy you when someone doesn't return your call? Only Steph and I find out she's with that nut case. **

**Are you too shy to make the first move? The last name is Morelli.**

**If you could be one person, who would it be? Mighty Mouse**

**Who do people say you remind them of? Antonio Sabàto Sr**

**What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Turner and Hooch or was it Canine? Can't remember, we don't get out much.**

**What did you have for breakfast? Coffee and toast.**

**Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Ranger Manoso**

**Beach, city or country? Beach.**

**Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Salted with butter, is there any other way? I'm not Manoso you know.**

**What kind of car do you drive? POS cop car and a truck**

**FAVORITE SANDWICH? Meatball sub**

**Where would you go on vacation? Lighthouse Beach, Fire Island National Seashore**

**What color is your bathroom? I don't know.**

**What side of the bed do you sleep on? The middle**

**When was the last time you said "I LOVE YOU" and meant it? Please don't make me answer that.**

**What did you do last night? Flew solo, Steph was doing a slut job for the nutcase.**

**Are you on any medication? Maalox by the gallon.**

**Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Terry, she has ways of making things better.**

**Who would you call for work advice? I know it all.**

**Have you ever been hunting? Never, the chicks are always plentiful, no need to hunt for them.**

**Name something you wish you were good at: I'm pretty happy with myself the way I am**

**Name something about you that attracts other people: My movie star good looks and charm.**

**What is your talent? Which one? We could start with the tongue if you like. **

**Name a bad habit that is hard to break: According to Steph it's not picking up my dirty underwear, but hey she's no neat freak herself.**

**NICKNAME(S)? Joe**

**What do people usually come to you for? Beer, pizza and hockey.**

**What advice do people usually give you? Stay clear of Stephanie, cars blow up around her on a regular basis.**

**Name something you constantly do that your family and friends wished you didn't do: Lie**

**What does it feel like to be in love? Pain in the ass.**

**What's the worst part about being in love? Her job.**

**How old do you want to be when you get married? 35**

**Do you want to have children? Four**

**Favorite restaurant? Pino's**

**Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Dick's Sports**

**What do you do when you are bored? Kick some alien ass on Halo.**

**Name the best thing that makes you smile: Stephanie off of sugar.**

**WHEN IT COMES TO SEX...I CONSIDER MYSELF: Driven by my hormones, which are freakin out of control most of the time.**

**If you could be anywhere in the world, where would it be? At Hef's place, of course.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Grandma Mazur**_

**Name Edna Mazur **

**Birthday It was so long ago I don't remember**

**Birthplace A farm outside of Budapest. **

**Marital status Widowed, but willing to change **

**Single? If So. Why? All the men my age die before we get to the going steady part.**

**Eye color Blue**

**Hair color Sexy Silver **

**Height 5' **

**Tattoos: Not yet, can't decide between a pair of lips on my hiney or a skull and cross bones on my arm. **

**Piercings: Ears and belly button? **

**Current location: Trenton, NJ **

**Righty or lefty: Righty **

**Currently in love? Naw. **

**Current mood: Grumpy, constipation can be a real pain. **

**Current clothing: Nightgown and robe. **

**Current hair: need to go to Cut and Curl **

**What do you smell like? vanilla **

**Current thing you ought to be doing: Taking a dump**

**Favorites: **

**Ice cream Chunky Monkey sounds fun **

**Food Chicken, it makes a great target **

**Steak or Lobster? lobster, easier to chew**

**Color Pink, HOT Pink**

**Flower Red roses **

**Clothes Anything that shows off my legs**

**Animal horse**

**Person My granddaughter, Stephanie **

**Saying "I wouldn't mind seeing his package!" **

**Sport to watch? Football, I like those really tight pants they wear.**

**Pro Team NY Jets**

**Love life: **

**First crush Andris Csonka **

**Ever been in love I was married, is that the same thing? **

**Still love him/her Of course. **

**Do you believe in love at first sight? Depends on the package. **

**Do you believe in the one? No, there are lots of nice packages out there. **

**What did you like most about your current/last bf/gf? He was breathing.**

**What did you like least about your current/last bf/gf? He kept taking his teeth out.**

**In a boy/girl: **

**Eye color Who cares?**

**Hair color If they still have any it's a plus, don't really care about the color, but at my age it's all mostly the same color.**

**Hair style Visible **

**Height standing up?**

**Body shape male**

**Facial hair ok, as long as it isn't hanging out of the nose.**

**Tattoos or piercing? Always fun to try to find them. **

**Style Breathing and mobile. **

**How often should they call? Once an hour to let me know they are still breathing and mobile.**

**Random**

**Have you ever been drunk Yes, not as often as Ellen however. **

**Done drugs No. **

**Had sex I think I remember doing that. **

**Been called a tease Naw, I'm always willing to go all the way if they can get it up.**

**Lied to someone Nope, it's too hard to remember the truth let alone what lie I would tell to every person.**

**Been in a fistfight There was this time back in the old country when Anna Farkas was slutting herself up and trying to get my Andris to play hide the sausage in her barn and I kicked her patutti. **

**Stolen anything NO.**

**Held or shot a gun Does the time with the chicken count?**

**If you had one day to live, who would you spend it with? Stephanie, she's always a hoot and I want to go out havin a good time. **

**Where do you see yourself in ten years? Hopefully, I will win the lottery and move us into a house with two bathrooms. **

**What's the hardest thing for you to do? Stay regular.**

**Do you care what others think? No. **

**What are you afraid of? My Stephanie not choosing the right man. **

**Do you have any regrets? Nope, always did what I wanted. **

**Do you have any secrets? Of course. **

**Do you like to give hugs? Naw, we aren't a touchy-feely kind of family. **

**Do you sleep naked? No, getting up 5 times a night to go to the bathroom makes it hard to sleep naked. About those 2 bathrooms, make it 3, one in my bedroom, then I can sleep naked. Yeah, that's livin'!!! **

**Do you believe in miracles? Definitely, I'm Catholic. **

**What inspires you? The thought that someday she and I can be we. **

**When is your bedtime? After the 11:00 news. **

**Do you like thunderstorms? Sure.**

**Do you think you're attractive? For a chick my age, you bet. **

**Gold or silver Silver. **

**Do you wear hats? Nope, wouldn't want to mess up the curls. **

**Does it annoy you when someone doesn't return your call? Maybe, if I remember I called someone.**

**Are you too shy to make the first move? No, you wait for some of these old farts and you would never get anywhere.**

**If you could be one person, who would it be? Catwoman.**

**Who do people say you remind them of? Betty White**

**What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Stephanie took me to see Apocalypto so I could remember what a nice looking naked butt looks like.**

**What did you have for breakfast? Prunes and donuts.**

**Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Frank.**

**Beach, city or country? Beach, love to flit around in my bikini.**

**Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Butter and salted.**

**What kind of car do you drive? They don't let me drive anymore? It wasn't my fault, really.**

**Favorite Sandwich? peanut butter and olives**

**Where would you go on vacation? A nude beach.**

**What color is your bathroom? Who has time to look at the color?**

**What side of the bed do you sleep on? The whole thing.**

**When was the last time you said "I LOVE YOU" and meant it? I mean it every time I say it, which isn't too often because we just don't vocalize in this family. Okay, we really live in denial and never admit to anything.**

**What did you do last night? Went to a male review with the girls.**

**Are you on any medication? I'm old, what do you think?**

**Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I talk to my husband, God rest his soul.**

**Who would you call for work advice? Work???????**

**Have you ever been hunting? For men? Every day.**

**Name something you wish you were good at: I wanna be a Bounty Hunter like Steph, so anything that will help..**

**Name something about you that attracts other people: My quick wit.**

**What is your talent? My quick wit.**

**Name a bad habit that is hard to break: Looking at men's packages.**

**NICKNAME(S)? Old Bat (I'll get him for that one day.)**

**What do people usually come to you for? The local gossip. **

**What advice do people usually give you? Not to gossip.**

**Name something you constantly do that your family and friends wished you didn't do: Gossip.**

**What does it feel like to be in love? Ok, I guess.**

**What's the worst part about being in love? Dying.**

**How old do you want to be when you get married? Been there, done that, don't want to do it again. Too many packages, so little time.**

**Do you want to have children? Not in any foreseeable future. I already have a daughter. But, who knows, right? It could happen. Remember, I'm Catholic.**

**Favorite restaurant? Shorty's**

**Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Victoria's Secret**

**What do you do when you are bored? Watch the weather channel.**

**Name the best thing that makes you smile: Stephanie and that hot Bounty Hunter together. **

**WHEN IT COMES TO SEX...I CONSIDER MYSELF: Hot and ready.**

**IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? Right here.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Randy Briggs**_

**Name Randy Briggs**

**Birthday Who cares?**

**Birthplace A hospital, where else would I be born? What? You thought I came out of the cabbage patch cause I'm small? **

**Marital status Single, but I can get the women anytime I want, I'm unique. **

**Single? If So. Why? Enjoying the variety.**

**Eye color Blue**

**Hair color blond **

**Height 3', are you jealous? **

**Tattoos: Are you kidding? Blemish this perfect body? No way. **

**Piercings: See above. **

**Current location: Trenton, NJ **

**Righty or lefty: Lefty **

**Currently in love? Nope. **

**Current mood: Grumpy, I am a programmer, I deal with technical geek shit, of course I'm grumpy. **

**Current clothing: Spiderman jammies. **

**Current hair: Still have most of it. **

**What do you smell like? Aqua Velva **

**Current thing you ought to be doing: working**

**Favorites: **

**Ice cream Whatever that loser Stephanie has in her fridge. **

**Food Whatever that loser Stephanie has in her fridge **

**Steak or Lobster? Both**

**Color Microsoft blue**

**Flower virtual **

**Clothes Anything that fits**

**Animal I hate animals**

**Person Me **

**Saying "Loser!" **

**Sport to watch? Those food eating competitions. You know, where these losers get in front of a camera and stuff their fat faces and see who can throw up first?**

**Pro Team I don't think they work in teams**

**Love life: **

**First crush HP300**

**Ever been in love Is that any of your business?**

**Still love him/her Is that any of your business?**

**Do you believe in love at first sight? Depends on the package. Is there a monitor involved?**

**Do you believe in the one? No, there are lots of awesome computers out there. **

**What did you like most about your current/last bf/gf? What the hell is a bf/gf? That isn't even dos.**

**What did you like least about your current/last bf/gf? Again, What the hell is a bf/gf?**

**In a boy/girl: **

**Eye color Who cares?**

**Hair color Hot pink, I like a girly girl**

**Hair style Spikey **

**Height 2.5' - 3' or 5'-6'**

**Body shape female**

**Facial hair Intolerable.**

**Tattoos or piercing? Don't care. **

**Style Not a loser. **

**How often should they call? Never.**

**Random**

**Have you ever been drunk There was that time after I met that Plum woman. She drives men to drink. **

**Done drugs No. **

**Had sex Just because I am a little person doesn't mean I don't get laid.. **

**Been called a tease Why the hell would anyone want to tease about sex, that is what we're talking about isn't it?**

**Lied to someone Nope, everything I say is the truth in my mind. And yes, she did push me down those stairs.**

**Been in a fistfight Right before she pushed me down the stairs. **

**Stolen anything NO. Anything I got from Stephanie doesn't count, she owes me big time.**

**Held or shot a gun No, I'm into ceremonial knives however.**

**If you had one day to live, who would you spend it with? Joyce Barnhardt, she's a guaranteed lay.**

**Where do you see yourself in ten years? Living next door to Bill Gates.**

**What's the hardest thing for you to do? Smile.**

**Do you care what others think? No. Yes. Sort of. It's not easy being me. **

**What are you afraid of? Power outages with no surge protector. Horses.**

**Do you have any regrets? Nope, always did what I wanted. **

**Do you have any secrets? Many. I'm a great hacker.**

**Do you like to give hugs? Sepends on the woman and what part of her body is eye level. **

**Do you sleep naked? No**

**Do you believe in miracles? No **

**What inspires you? The binary system. **

**When is your bedtime? When my head hits the keyboard. **

**Do you like thunderstorms? No, they cause power outages.**

**Do you think you're attractive? Who could resist all of this? **

**Gold or silver Silver. **

**Do you wear hats? no **

**Does it annoy you when someone doesn't return your call? Only if it's the HELP desk.**

**Are you too shy to make the first move? I've never been accused of being shy.**

**If you could be one person, who would it be? Bill Gates.**

**Who do people say you remind them of? Bill Gates**

**What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Bambi**

**What did you have for breakfast? Don't remember.**

**Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Stephanie.**

**Beach, city or country? Doesn't matter as long as I have my laptop.**

**Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Butter and salted.**

**What kind of car do you drive? I take a taxi.**

**Favorite Sandwich? Anything that doesn't drip on my keyboard.**

**Where would you go on vacation? Upper Great Plains Technology Conference **

**What color is your bathroom? White, I think.**

**What side of the bed do you sleep on? The right.**

**When was the last time you said "I LOVE YOU" and meant it? An hour ago, the program worked to perfection, I am a genius.**

**What did you do last night? Built a website.**

**Are you on any medication? Caffeine?**

**Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? The HELP desk.**

**Who would you call for work advice? The HELP desk.**

**Have you ever been hunting? No, searching, yes.**

**Name something you wish you were good at: Personal relationships. Wait, who am I kidding, I am good at everything I want to be, who needs people when the world is at your fingertips?**

**Name something about you that attracts other people: My genius.**

**What is your talent? Fast fingers.**

**Name a bad habit that is hard to break: I don't have any.**

**NICKNAME(S)? midget, dwarf, small fry, little guy…why do you think I love computers?**

**What do people usually come to you for? Hacking. **

**What advice do people usually give you? I GIVE THE ADVICE.**

**Name something you constantly do that your family and friends wished you didn't do: Work.**

**What does it feel like to be in love??????????**

**What's the worst part about being in love?????????????**

**How old do you want to be when you get married? 101**

**Do you want to have children? Hell no.**

**Favorite restaurant? Any one that delivers.**

**Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy.**

**What do you do when you are bored? Surf the porn sites.**

**Name the best thing that makes you smile: A day without crashes. **

**WHEN IT COMES TO SEX...I CONSIDER MYSELF: Vulnerable.**

**IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? In the arms of someone that loves me for who I am.**


End file.
